Almost home

December 16th, 2008 • Culture Briefings

My empty house and my almost-furnished home. I still baffle myself with my idea of home.
I watched a random video on youtube this evening where Rahul Bose (Actor extraordinaire) spoke about Bombay. And it resonates so deeply with me. I was nodding in agreement the whole time I was watching the video. There is no one Bombay. Like there is no one Philadelphia or New York. Each of us have our own dimensions of what makes a city, MY city. Suburban Bombayits that don’t travel to South Bombay, South Bombayites that don’t consider the burbs Bombay. Lower East Siders who don’t “do” mid-town and Upper East Siders who dont’ do the tunnel and the bridge. We each of our own city.

I’m leaving for Bombay tomorrow. I’m returning to MY idea of Bombay but am hoping I can re-define it and add yet another piece to it. Don’t be surprised if you find my blog more personal, effusive and emotional than ever before. I have a guard on most of the time – here too. I’m hoping, returning back home will dispel it for me.

On (NOT) collecting friends on facebook

December 16th, 2008 • 7 comments Social Media

My biggest pet peeve is coming into my inbox with friend requests from names I don’t recognize AT ALL.

This post has been a long time in the coming. I am a little pissed off right now because I am struggling with handling the facebook conundrum. Facebook has unfortunately liquidated the meaning / definition of “friend.” I still view Facebook as a personal domain. While, thankfully,  I have the option to select and adjust privacy settings per user, it still takes a certain level of personal comfort and familiarity for me to be bold enough to request someone’s friendship and for me to accept someone’s friend request.

Everytime I recieve a friend request that I don’t recognize, I message back and ask : Do I know you. Today, perhaps, I just tipped over my threshold and the response I recieved really really pissed me off. I received a notification on Twitter last night about this person following me. I didn’t find their Twitter feed interesting – so I didn’t follow them back. Then this afternoon, I received a friend request from them. I thought that perhaps I might have met the person and was blanking on the name/ face so as I always do, I asked them: Do I know you. And here’s the response I received.

(Redacted) : followed u on twitter
My response: Not to be rude – but following me on Twitter is not the same as being my friend on Facebook. Please be mindful of people’s privacy and if you want to friend someone, at the very least – write a note explaining why or the association.  You can network with me on linkedin or twitter if you like. I don’t know you well enough to friend you here.

WOW. That just annoyed me.

My goal with being on Facebook is not to collect friends, but to strengthen my already existing social relationships. Unfortnately there are no rules to friending people and making new friends – its just that each of us has a different agenda that should be respected, irrespective of what it might be. And the reason why I invest my time asking, ‘Do I know you’ every single time I recieve a friend request from a stranger is because I have been very glad of the times I have accepted a relative stranger into my friend fold simply because they took the time to answer my question sincerely and honestly. Thats the kind of people I want to enrich my life with – not the ones who think sending me a half-assed phrase as a reason to be my friend.

Maybe I have a very high opinion of myself, maybe every sentence here is hypocritical, but I stand by it. I have not yet sent a TOTAL stranger a friend request – and if and when I do – I guarantee you I will make a strong case of why I should be their friend.

A different kind of dsplacement

December 9th, 2008 • 3 comments Life in the big city, On my mind...

Today my co-conspirator Mansi broke the news that she is back on the market looking for a new job. The tough Detriot advertising/marketing market finally took toll on her company and in a major exodus, majority of her department are jobless now. Classy, that she is – she’s taken it in her stride and as we were chatting online, she said to me, “I’ve never felt more dsplaced before.”

This week has been especially bitter-sweet. A few friends at work are leaving for better opportunities while a few friends at other places have been asked to leave because of the bleak markets. This has got me wondering about an entire new facet to dsplacement.

What we do, defines us. Makes us who we are. Without a job, a title – I am a nobody. Personality-less, color-less. As dear the idea of home and moving around is – in some respects, the idea of a job is far more grounding. Job, work, dream – they are different words but symbolic for what they represent. We leave home, undergo one form of dsplacement, for a better job, to follow our dreams or just to get work. No?

Trading one for another.

I’ve been amazed at some of the stories that have been coming in on Dsplaced. I’m so glad that this project has touched a chord with most of us who have been through this Dsplacement. I want to reach out and say – keep them coming. Don’t hesitate. Write in. Whether you’ve lost homes, jobs or significant others – let Dsplaced become your home for your story. We are eagerly waiting for the next story.

As for Mansi, she’s spirited and smart. I’m confident she’ll find her new home soon – but in the meantime, if you have a lead for her or know anyone’s who looking for a kickass account planner – she’s your girl.

Dsplaced – An online storytelling experiment

December 5th, 2008 • 1 comment Culture Briefings, Life in the big city, On my mind...

There is something about digital narratives. I spend countless hours on facebook everyday and marvel at the dazzling digiscape of human emotions, dreams and aspirations that paints and re-paints itself in form of text, visuals and videos within the Facebook confines each day. If the emotions expressed on facebook were visualized, it would quite beautifully capture a facet of humanity. Also, projects like a A thousand journals, PostSecret and We Feel Fine have inspired me tremendously to imagine further and think about how to capture and create a mosaic of human emotions online. And so, what better emotion to explore than Dsplacement?

Dsplacement is a word I associate with people who out of choice or force keep their concept of home fluid. I have been in love with the idea of exploring our relationships with cities, countries and the very idea of home. Personally for me, all three have changed several times and I expect them to continue changing for the next several years. I feel like, all this dsplacement has defined my sense of self and my identity. But I am curious to know how, if at all, it has impacted other people. And so, dsplaced.com

It is in a way an experiment in storytelling. The brevity and the levity of messages on Twitter and stories in 6-words amaze me and I wanted to bring  in a similar element to dsplaced.com. Because sometimes, less is more. Especially in this case.

So I teamed up with Mansi, a kindred soul like me, who I have never met in person yet and together, we launched Dsplaced. Thankfully for me, she shared the same frustrations and curiosities of being a digitally connected yet dsplaced.

I urge you to spread the word, to visit the site and submit your own story. I don’ t know how it will shape or how long it will stay alive on the web – but its almost meditative and healing to do this. To catalog these digital snippets of people’s minds that ultimately, in different words, tell teh same story.