Social Internet

Social Thresholds

Returning back to the idea of privacy online, my friend Amit, has a very different point of view that I think is worth adding to this discourse. Our debate rose from teh idea of separating your worlds and contexts that you exist in. Here are his thoughts,

Ultimately, being completely open with all worlds, allowing them to mix, and letting your friends see you in your business contexts, and your boss see you in your personal life, is equivalent to putting faith in humanity and in yourself. It’s understanding that help and opportunity can come from anywhere at anytime, and there’s no way to predict it. And that people are at their deepest level good, that you are deserving of their attention, interesting enough, and worthy of their help, so letting them see more of you can only help you (and them) more than it hurts.

While I don’t agree with this, it is a very valid argument that deserves to be heard and discussed. I don’t agree with this thinking because to me each individual in my life exists in a different context. Your close friends cross over into different contexts of your life but for the rest, there should be no free pass. Friendships should be earned - and special benefits come with that, namely access to my full profile.

This does not mean every moment must be broadcast. There are exceptions to every rule, and times when discretion makes sense. You wouldn’t broadcast a job search while still employed, any more than I’d share minor squabbles with a significant other in a public forum.
But what a loss would it be if you didn’t share your victories and joys — the good times, if not the insignificant ones. It’s weird, this fifth relationship. There’s plenty of precedent to fall back on for relationships with your family, your friends, your coworkers, and your significant others, but most historically haven’t had to think much about their relationship with strangers. That was a problem left for celebrities. Until the Internet gave everyone a chance for microcelebrity.

I have been having this conversation in varying degrees and colors with other friends and each present a distinct, well-pontificated argument that I’d like to share with you. Every voice adds another layer to this debate and while there is no right answer, there is perhaps some weight in the idea that every individual has a social threshold (for strangers) they won’t cross. Whatever that threshold is for them - and it is different for everyone. You may be comfortable sharing your flickr gallery with everyone but not your age and your personal blog while I may be ok with having you observe me here in this space but perhaps not on facebook unless you are my friend. Does this make sense?

What’s your social threshold? What do you allow and not?